Recently, I finished binging HBO's Mare of Easttown (and by recently, I mean this afternoon). And in the sixth episode, Mare's grief counselor said something to Kate Winslet's character that has stuck with me. "I don't think you've given yourself the time to properly grieve your son's death." Or something along those lines. Also, that's not a spoiler, her son's death happened prior to the events of the series. That's a great line in the show for her character development, but also just for life advice in general. Who needs to pay for therapy when you can just watch scripted TV drama?
It got me thinking about my own life and the things that I may have not given myself enough time and space to grieve. Granted I haven't lost a son, but this applies to all the things that we carry heavy. Have I given myself enough time? To process my breakup? To deal with my anxieties about paying for grad school and paying back student loan debt? To even deal with my depression and suicidal ideation? And even how do I know if I have? These feel important questions that we should all ask ourselves. What grief/pain/baggage/sadness do we still need to process? And how exactly can we give ourselves the time and space to grieve? With the start of summer today, it's a good season to get out and do the things that make me happy. Seeing friends. Running. Enjoying the sunlight. Reading at a park. Going to the beach. Even though I have to work and deal with the responsibilities on my plate, I need to give myself time for myself. Time to relax and be the person I love the most. And time to think about these things, especially my break up. Even though it's been two months, it still feels heavy. It's healthy of me to continue dealing with the parts of it that make me saddest. I also feel that it's important to continue taking the big stuff day by day. We can plan for the future to make our lives safe and secure. But, I'm already doing that. By investing in grad school and taking care of my mental health, I am investing in a safe and secure future. I don't need to drag myself down with my grief and anxiety. By continuing to live each day doing things that make me happy and continually moving forward, I think we are dealing with it. The steps to dealing with grief and the hardest parts of life will come easier that way. This is brought to you by the ramblings of my brain and the journal I left blank next to me on my desk. Stream Mare of Easttown on HBO Max.
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Rob EnglishJust a kid from Pittsburgh trying to figure out my place in the world and write some things along the way. Archives
February 2024
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