One of New York's biggest tourist attractions is reopening after it closed temporarily due to multiple suicides. The new measures that they will enact for suicide prevention include an entry fee of $10 (it's open for free from 10 am - Noon), all visitors must have a buddy and cannot enter alone, and they will triple security and staff will be trained in looking for suicide ideation signs.
It's a welcome sight for tourists and New Yorkers alike, but the bare changes leave a bad taste in my mouth. I don't expect the developers of Hudson Yards to pour money into Mental Health services, but this highlights my biggest problem with a lot of policies and guidelines in America. A lot of what we do, especially with suicide ideation, is prevention at the absolute latest level. These measures are there to prevent people who have suicide ideation and who are looking to attempt it. These measures do not prevent it at the earliest level, i.e., free and affordable mental health services for all, more training and curriculum in schools focused on mental health, more trained psychiatrists and therapists. Of course it costs more, but the best way to prevent suicides and help the greatest amount of people is to provide resources for everyone in all aspects of their lives, not pouring resources into security and staff training to stop people when they are in the most need of help. This isn't just an issue with mental health services either. This is an issue where we pour money into prisons to house incarcerated people instead of putting money into avenues that could stop crime before it happens, actually benefitting people. Or more money into police forces instead of putting money into community services or infrastructures. Or banning paper straws and plastic bags instead of focusing on the larger issues that cause the most damage to the climate. We are so focused on spending the least amount of money to benefit the least amount of people. I really wish we had large scale change that addresses these issues at the earliest time in everyones lives. Stopping people from jumping off the Vessel in Hudson Yards is a good step. But that doesn't mean that people aren't still hurting. The people who need help the most may find other ways to take their own lives. And that's unacceptable. We need large scale reform in every area that impacts society. It's irresponsible to wait until the last possible moment.
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I've had asthma since I was three and had to get rushed to the The Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh, strapped to the gurney laying on top of my mother because I was too little, attached to a Darth Vader breathing machine. Ever since, if I feel my lungs constricted, I just take two puffs of my inhaler and I'm back to walking up the stairs or whatever task is making me feel weak. Without doing any research into the history of asthma (blog post about this pending me not being lazy), I'm just going to go ahead and assume that our ancestors with asthma just couldn't live. "Oh Timmy Jimmy Johnny Boy, you can't breathe when you're pushing the cart across that field? Or you get a cough when you're playing spin the wheel down by the mountain lion den? Oh well, I guess you'll have to read and be the smart one of the family." "Elizabeth Marie, your chest hurts when you're in the hot kitchen? Well, there's nothing else you can do, so I'm disowning you." I keep imagining the scene in the cinematic classic "Madagascar Escape 2 Africa" when Melman thinks he's terminal because he has an extra spot, so he digs himself a hole in to die. Honestly, when I've been caught without my asthma inhaler, this feels like the most comforting solution. Timmy Jimmy Johnny BoyIf we're not being as drastic as digging our own graves at 3 years old to accept the sweet release of death, what other solutions could they use? Drinking herbal tea? Have the family donkey perform CPR? Cutting off your big toe to make that pain greater than the pain in your chest? While these are viable solutions, I find them only temporary. Again, I'm wrapping around to giraffe graves as the only way to accept a major asthma attack.
And asthma's just one medical issue on the table. A pretty mild one at that. Dudes with lung cancer definitely need to dig a giraffe grave. Someone who has kidney stones should probably just cut out their entire digestive and reproductive system. Accidentally got an arrow sticking out of your knee cap? That's now part of your anatomy. The moral of the story is the next time I have to use my asthma inhaler provided free of charge by my mother's health insurance, I'll just think about Timmy Jimmy Johnny Boy having to spend his long life of 21 years sitting by the fire place reading about Gilgamesh or something and be thankful I was born in this time period. A few days ago, I started lamenting the fact that I've never been in a relationship longer than a year. "Ugh, how am I going to spend the rest of my life with someone?" I thought to myself. But, in a moment of pure wisdom and maturity, I realized that I've spent 25 years in the most important relationship: with myself.
It's not revolutionary at all, people have been writing about self love for generations. For me, it was important to just remind myself of this fact. After a hard break up, I've been falling into moments of doubt about my future love life. I've felt moments of loneliness, craving the romantic love that I was receiving, and giving. When this lightbulb went off that I've spent 25 years in a relationship with myself, growing and changing, it was a much needed reassurance of my strength as a human (not physical strength, of course, I don't pose much of a threat on that front). I believe this goes for everyone on this planet, whether they're single or taken or "it's complicated." No matter the relationship status, we all have the monumental task of taking care of ourselves and treating our bodies and minds with respect. We all deserve it. We spend 24 hours everyday together (I did the math on this one). We owe it to ourselves to treat ourselves right, to explore the things that make us happy, to take care of ourselves. Privilege is being able to run through a neighborhood without fearing for your life. Privilege is feeling oppressed by state at home orders in the middle of a pandemic. Privilege is having access to healthcare if you do get sick. Privilege is having WiFi at home so you can continue to work in your pajamas. Privilege is having a home computer or laptop so your child can still learn from their teacher over the internet. Privilege is going to the supermarket without getting dirty looks or called racial slurs because of your skin. Privilege is going to a public park and getting handed a face mask by the police instead of a $300 fine. Privilege is receiving a stimulus check from the government while your neighbor didn't get one because she's married to an undocumented immigrant. Privilege is staying safe inside while not having to worry about how you're going to pay for your next meal. Privilege is being accused of sexual assault and still being allowed to run for President of the United States.
Have I said enough or would you like me to go beyond the past month? Each and every day, the world seems to get dimmer and dimmer. I'm trying to remain hopeful, but there always is something that reminds that we live in a hellish nightmare of a society that thinks it's at the top of the world when really, we just have a lot of privilege and blind patriotism. What exactly am I made about?
Am I about the racist murder of Ahmaud Aubrey, a young man who was running through a neighborhood and cornered by two white supremacists who shot him in cold blood and have still not been arrested? Am I mad about the countless stories of black men and women in America murdered for being Black with no actual systematic changes? Am I mad that schools don't do a good enough job of teaching about racism throughout the history of the United States and don't do enough to combat early racist and white supremacist views in students most likely spewing things they've overheard their parents ranting about behind closed doors? Or am I mad about the botched roll out of testing for covid-19 in America that allowed the spread of the virus across the US? Am I mad that even though the virus continues to kill thousands of innocent lives a day and that the curve is not flattening, state and federal governments continue to reopen parts of society that should not be open if we want to stop the spread? Am I mad that thousands of people who have never been oppressed in their entire lives rush to protest their right to go out working because they don't have an ounce of sympathy? Or maybe I'm just continually mad that the Democrats and Republicans have both chosen two accused rapists to be their ticket for president in November, two candidates with little to no regard for human lives and absolutely no ambition to combat the deep problems in America that are going to continue to plague American's for decades to come? Or maybe I'm mad that the government continues to bail out large corporations while individuals and small businesses are the ones that are going to feel the effects of this recession for a long time? Or that the Environmental Protection Agency, which by name is supposed to, you know, protect the environment, has attempted to roll back 100 different guidelines from previous presidents? Or maybe I'm just mad about everything all the time. I was lucky to be born a white, straight, cisgender male who benefits from no matter who is in charge. But, I am so mad about everyone else who feels the effects of centuries of a government that was built to favor rich, white people. I would love for America to come out of this pandemic stronger, with more regard for human life and with a propensity to make real changes to prevent the oppressed from being oppressed in the future. We won't get there without a lot of work. Lego Star Wars was one of the greatest video games of our generation growing up. But, what if it was brainwashing us into being mindless capitalism drones? It didn't. Regardless, I'm going to write about it because I have nothing better to do. The goal of Lego Star Wars was not to beat every level. The goal was to buy literally everything in the game. You go through the world destroying everything in to gain currency. Currency which enables you to buy upgrades that make your life easier and allow you to collect currency even faster. But, you don't earn it through hard work. You earn it through destruction. You go around murdering everyone who tries to get in your way of your quest of draining the universe of its resources. The game constantly rewards you for killing and looting by giving you gold bricks which reinforces you to continue killing and looting. And then! What happens when you collect everything? You're rewarded with a giant, gold fountain that constantly spews out more and more currency for you to just hoard wealth that you don't need because you've purchased everything that can be purchased. I've cited two reasons, but this is my airtight argument into how the Lego video game franchises has brainwashed us into a world of capitalism.
For anyone who has stumbled on this, please don't take it seriously. These were extremely fun games and provided hours of entertainment for me as a kid. I can't wait until they release Lego Shawshank Redemption the Video Game in 2022. Everyday, it's hard to complain about being bored or sad when thousands are losing loved ones and/or working on the front lines each and every day to keep others alive. So, I'm starting off this post by saying I am very fortunate to be healthy and safe in quarantine and not have lost anyone close to me.
With that said, for anyone who is feeling anxiety or depression or just scared about that situation, it's okay. Each day is uncertain. For me, I have no job and nothing to look forward to until August 31st when I start my grad program (if schools are even open in August which there's a chance they won't be). Every day, I wake up at 11 am, eat breakfast, play video games for 6 hours, eat dinner, go to sleep. That's about it. Listen to some music here or there. Claim my unemployment check once a week, which is infuriating because I am probably making more than some minimum wage workers who have to still work through this and risk there own lives. The point is, the world is really fucked up right now. America especially. The government botched the preventative measures to stop the spread of the virus before it happened, so now thousands are dying, while many on the right want to reopen states to protect the economy while increasing a surge in the virus because "there are more important things than living." We don't have enough tests to accurately track the virus nor do we have enough resources to protect healthcare workers who are protecting us. Each day, racist acts against people of Asian descent continue to happen at a more alarming rate than before the virus. Everyday is a new Hell that we all have a front row seat to on our phones. And there's no end in sight. So, my advice to myself is to just breathe. Keep relaxing and taking each day by day. Don't stress yourself out much like I just did with that entire paragraph about how much racists and the government suck. Take care of yourself first. Make sure you are okay. If that's all you do through this quarantine, that's more than enough. If you have extra effort and are okay, call your family. FaceTime your friends. Donate to your local food bank or healthcare charities. Share only facts online. Vote out idiots from office this fall. Share positivity. Don't be racist like ever in life. That's just a few things. None of us know when this will end, but the more time we spend inside, the better chance we have our not spreading the virus and preventing as many deaths as we can. That's the most important thing. It sucks to have no end in sight and very little hope and a lot of anxiety, but they are all necessary. We will make it out of this. We have to, for all of the lives already lost. Today, Bernie Sanders dropped out of the presidential race, paving the way for Joe Biden as the Democratic nominee. It's so disheartening to see the only candidate with real ideas about change that would benefit people leave the race. Joe Biden's rape allegations aside, he has never had a real platform with any actual ideas. He's been running on a platform of "I wanna beat Trump and hey remember that guy Obama a few years ago? You all liked him and I'm competent by association." And for many, this was apparently good enough. But, for those who want actual change and are tired of companies ruling America, we wanted Bernie. Now, we don't get that.
These are dark times, where it's hard to think about anything other than the coronavirus pandemic. Unfortunately, we have to deal with the fact that millions of people never got to vote in the primaries If you're reading this, you should probably log off and go watch a movie or do a push up or something. But, thank you for coming to my page!
As I write this at the end of Week 3 of Quarantine and have already started to talk to the brick wall as if she's my dearest friend, I'm grateful that I have a medium to express myself. These are extremely hard times ahead of us. Harder than the mile run in middle school! For myself, I've turned to making this blog just to write and have an avenue to take out any fears I have and turn to when I feel hopeless. I hope that all of you have something like that, whether it's going for a run or baking cookies or dancing in your underwear or stealing money from horny Wall Street dudes on the internet. Whatever brings you joy, make sure you keep doing it! This helps me hold onto hope, which is so important. The road ahead of us is long. And it's going to be difficult. A lot of people are going to lose their lives. So, make sure you are there for your friends and family (metaphorically, keep social distancing). FaceTime them. Send them videos that make you laugh. Send an email to your grandparents. The smallest gestures will help each other. Also make sure you support and thank the people on the front lines! Health Care Workers, grocery store employees, delivery drivers, janitors, all of them! They are doing everything in their power to help everyone else. Also as you social distance, make sure you thank yourself for helping others for staying home. You don't need to be making big gestures to be important in this. Just staying home is a win. Take care of yourselves in quarantine so that we can all come out stronger at the end of this. Also, please enjoy my blog! It will mostly be movie reviews, embarrassing stories from my past, and me ranting about inequality in America. Or basically anything, this is really for me Like a journal that strangers on the internet can read. Fun! |
Rob EnglishJust a kid from Pittsburgh trying to figure out my place in the world and write some things along the way. Archives
February 2024
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